this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
