i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize