dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
