What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
