everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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