i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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