In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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