That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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