If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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