In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
