i think i have two assholes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
