After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
