if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Mom said you looked used
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
