her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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