I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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