I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize