I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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