Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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