bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
