Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
