just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
