just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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