it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
