): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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