I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
