There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
