I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
