Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
