Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
