So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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