HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
