life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize