Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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