Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
