We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
