i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
