Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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