it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize