ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
