His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
