no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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