he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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