i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Buhtt sex?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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