I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
