Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
