yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
