Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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