Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
