She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
