i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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