What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
