i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
