I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
