508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
