Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
