I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I intend to get homeless drunk
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Mom said you looked used
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
