i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
