Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize