Duck Duck Cougar?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
